1 Peter 3:8-12

If you’ve followed Christ for any significant length of time, you’ve probably experienced some special difficulties because you’re a Christian. These may include broken relationships, cultural marginalization, social isolation, ethical and professional challenges, and more. Still, let’s be honest and admit that our suffering for Christ is mild compared to that of so many other Christians in the world today and throughout history.

There’s another angle or type of “suffering” that we occasionally experience as believers in America, though. This suffering is the kind we experience from other believers within the church, when other believers say insulting things about us or treat us poorly. To be sure, there is no good excuse for this kind of behavior towards one another. At the same time, we shouldn’t allow such experiences to shake our faith in Christ, cause us to abandon the church, or inspire us to speak or behave badly in return.

Why do we speak or behave poorly towards one another at times?

• Perhaps because see each other so frequently and take each other for granted.
• Perhaps because we become too comfortable around each other.
• Perhaps because we have high expectations of each other.
• But always because we still have a sin nature that we are learning to overcome.

In 1 Pet 3:8-12, Peter acknowledges this possible (even likely) problem and teaches us how to respond when it in the church. Let’s take a look.

Followers of Christ should love each other as close relatives do.

Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous;

In its most concentrated and specific sense, this statement applies to an entire church community. In its broadest sense, it speaks of believers alive on this Earth at any moment. So as Brookdale Baptist, it applies to all of us equally and completely, whether you are hearing this sermon or not.

No matter how young or old you are, how long you’ve been a follower of Christ, how long you’ve been a member of this church, how well you know other members, or how well you get along with or view another member – no matter what your differences or past experiences between one member and another may be, this statement applies to you because Peter says “all” of you.

Furthermore, this statement closes and summarizes, to this point in the letter, Peter’s instructions for how to treat one another when we’re suffering. Whether one of us faces difficulties or all of us suffer together, we should treat one another this way in the midst of our suffering – whether you’re the one who is suffering or not.

How exactly should we treat each other as followers of Christ? Peter answers this question with five brief bursts of commands (imperatives) in a poetic way.

• The first and last command (be of one mind, humble/courteous) serve as bookends or brackets and tell us how to think towards each other.
• The second and fourth (be sympathetic/compassionate, tenderhearted) tell us how to feel towards each other.
• The third and central command (love as brothers) tells us how to behave towards each other.

Let’s walk together through these three aspects of Christian relationship in the church and ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to our hearts whether we are thinking, feeling, and treating each other this way at Brookdale.

We should think of each other as close relatives.

To “be of one mind” towards one another means more than merely agreeing outwardly to a doctrinal statement or set of procedures. It means to share the same deep, inner commitment and focus on obeying, serving, and worshiping the Lord at any cost, sharing the same values, mission, and goals together from our innermost hearts.

This word for “be of one mind” speaks of harmony. We know that well-written and well-performed music of many styles features excellent, thoughtful harmonies – sets and series of notes and rhythms which fit and are synchronized well with each other. A church should be the same way, having members whose beliefs and mindsets are in harmony – not discord – with one another. This doesn’t necessarily mean that we all have the same opinions (though agreement on doctrinal essentials is important) but that whatever differences we do have are woven together harmoniously around a common, shared set of biblical, Christ-centered values and mission.

To “be courteous” means to be humble towards each other. Such humility does not mean to have a poor view of yourself (“I’m no good”) and a bloated view of others (“you’re all good”). It means to always be eager and ready to serve, to take a less recognized or visible role and to be eager and quick to get behind, follow, serve, or submit to another instead. It’s having a heart that values the interests, needs, and opinions of others your own – not just as the right thing to do but because you truly believe and think that others are important, more important than you.

Let me give you a sneak-peak of something coming in 2023. Our budget for next year (which we will rename as our “mission investment plan”) will give us a new and special way to unify together with a genuine, concentration and focus. More to come on that 😊

We should feel towards each other as close relatives.

To “have compassion for one another” (be sympathetic) and to be “tenderhearted” (also compassionate) tells us that we should care and feel deeply about one another. These are feelings we must intentionally cultivate since they do not come naturally.

In my 40+ years of experience in church and Christianity, I’ve noticed that some believers (or professing believers in some cases) let their feelings guide them. They join a church if they feel like it’s a good fit, they attend or participate in church functions if they feel like it, they give and serve in their church if they feel like it, and so on. The problem with this approach is that we let our natural, normal feelings – which are underdeveloped, self-serving, and spiritually immature – govern our spiritual lives and relationships.

We should instead prioritize the people of a church family as Christ himself does – selflessly, sincerely, and unconditionally. By doing so, we cultivate and develop better and deeper feelings of compassion, interest, and love for one another – not because we naturally gravitate towards each other or other members express care and compassion towards us, but because we are following Christ – even with our feelings.

Why do I say this? Because twice here Peter commands and instructs us how to feel. We have to make actual, deliberate, personal decisions to feel this way towards one another. He tells us how to feel towards one another, so therefore this is something that we can change with Christ’s help.

Peter Davids, a Christian scholar who specializes in the NT general epistles (Peter, James, and Jude), extends our understanding of this instruction even further. Not only should we choose to cultivate feelings of genuine care and compassion for one another as outside observers who come alongside and put our arms around another believer in their suffering and need. Our feelings towards one another should go even further:

“A Christian’s caring is not to be simply because he or she understands what another feels. Instead, Christians care deeply about fellow-Christians so that the suffering of one becomes the suffering of the other. Christians are to be emotionally involved with each other.” (Peter Davids)

This is asking a lot, for we have a lot of emotions to work through in our own personal lives to begin with. But when we consider how Christ himself embraced the feelings of our suffering for himself, we can turn to him for personal comfort and sympathy and then extend the same feelings and sympathy to one another.

This is a unique emotional experience that only believers may truly give to and receive from one another. And it requires an intentional, personal choice of each of our parts to be present, attentive, and concerned for one another. This means that we cannot and must not treat church merely as an occasional social event when convenient. We must involve ourselves regularly and personally with one another so we can share – among other things – in one another’s sufferings. Karen Jobes puts it this way:

Peter feels free to apply to the Christian community terms commonly used of family relationships, apparently following the thought that their new birth generated by God the Father (1:3–4) makes the Christian community into a family. Peter suggests that his readers have kinship obligations to one another that are expected of biological kin in that society.

We must commit ourselves to our church as deeply, personally, and regularly as we would to a human family – that’s the point that Peter is making here. Do you agree with him?

We should treat each other as close relatives.

Peter makes this point very clearly with his third and central command, “love as brothers.” With this command, he refers to a concept that he emphasizes elsewhere in this letter when he describes all followers of Christ as a “brotherhood” (1 Pet 2:17; 5:9).

Where does this concept come from? The nearest answer is Christ and the furthest answer is – you guessed it – the OT.

This concept of brotherhood extends all the back to the twelve sons of Jacob, from whom came the tribes and nation of Israel. Together, these brothers and their descendants appear throughout history through good times and bad. Though they bickered and even battled against each other at times, their solidarity continues to this day as a nation of people who have persevered through thick and thin.

Christ – who himself was an Israelite, descendant of the tribe of Judah – made a strong statement that adds a surprising twist to this concept. On one occasion, he was teaching a group of people when his mother and brothers approached him (Matt 12:46-50). Some in the crowd became aware that his relatives wanted to speak with him, and they told him so. When they did, the response Christ gave is startling and instructive.

“He answered and said to the one who told him, “Who is my mother and who are my brothers? … whoever does the will of My Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”

By saying this, Jesus does not show disrespect to his immediate family (who are also Israelites) or even to his nation. Instead, he showed equal or perhaps greater respect to his spiritual family, at least in instances when earthly and spiritual family contradict. Those who follow Christ should adopt the same mindset. Peter, who was present when Jesus said this, carries this concept over into his teaching to the church.

This identity of believers/church as a spiritual family appears elsewhere in the NT, too.

• John says that God is our Father and we are his children (1 John 3:1).
• Paul says that we are the “household of faith” (Gal 6:10).

So, in what ways or to what degree do you intentionally show genuine active care, interest, involvement, and love for the other believers God has placed into your life as your spiritual family?

We should love each other this way even when it’s difficult to do so.

Why? Because family love is not love that is earned. Because family love is based not on behavior but identity. A brother loves his sister, a sister loves his brother, a sister loves her sister, and a brother loves his brother because that is their relationship to one another whether they behave well or not. It is who you are. You are a brother or sister by birth, and this is not earned.

That’s the kind of love we should show towards one another – even when it does not seem to be returned. After all, we did not earn the right to be a brother and sister to each other in the church – we were born [again] by God the Holy Spirit into this relationship.

Not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing.

When we hear these maxims, our minds quickly run to our interactions and relationships with nonbelievers who treat us poorly. Yet Peter connects these principles directly to our relationships with one another as followers of Christ. Why would he do that? Because every family knows that arguments, differences, and poor, selfish behavior occurs even in the best of families.

When another brother or sister in Christ behaves badly towards you, how should you respond? When another follower of Christ says hurtful or insulting things about you, how should you reply? These are difficult moments, but we should respond or reply just as we do towards a nonbeliever who does or says similar things and even better.

Do not treat them badly in return. Do not say hurtful or insulting things back to them or about them. This sounds so simple, so easy – but why is it so hard?

Instead of returning the poor treatment to brothers and sisters in Christ who treat you poorly, Peter does more than encourage a neutral stance, as in doing nothing, saying nothing, walking away, backing away, involving ourselves less, withdrawing into our private lives more, or merely refraining from returning the poor treatment. He encourages us to respond to such poor treatment by blessing them instead!

In first-century times, “blessing” here in its most basic, common sense means to “speak good of a person.” So, at the very least we should do this. We should continue to say good things about the brother or sister who mistreats us, we should look for opportunities to say good things to them, and we should do good things for them as well, probably even more or better than before they misspoke or mistreated us.

We are called to bless each other as God has blessed us.

Why should we treat one another this way, though it feels so difficult and seems so unfair? Peter gives an answer that’s very difficult to argue with. “We were called to this – that we should inherit a blessing.” Peter is not teaching that we earn blessings from God when we bless others who treat us poorly. In fact, he is teaching the very opposite.

He is pointing out the obvious but often overlooked truth that we too easily forget and take for granted, that God has called us to inherit the blessing of forgiveness of sins and eternal life with God in a new world forever. Since God himself has called us to inherit everlasting blessing from him, we should certainly bless one another whenever we can.

God has not blessed us because we spoke well of him or treated him well. We’ve done quite the opposite, yet he has called us to be his children and promised to bless us for eternity anyway. Clearly, we should simply do the same towards one another. We’re brothers and sisters after all who share the same eternal inheritance!

Following this clear, simple, but convicting instruction, Peter does what he’s done many times already in this letter. He provides an OT basis for what he is saying, this time quoting at length from Psa 34:12-16:

For “He who would love life and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips from speaking deceit. Let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the LORD are on the righteous, and His ears are open to their prayers; nut the face of the LORD is against those who do evil.”

This is not a new command. It is an old one that we – of all people – should be committed to even more to doing than OT believers were because we have witnessed and benefited from the love of Christ! This is a timeless challenge and timeless truth which the church should be committed to above all.

Psalm 34 is a poetic song that King David had written centuries before when another brother from another tribe of Israel was hunting him down to kill him. Talk about a family feud! This psalm expresses the feelings of his heart and is a psalm with direct connections also to the eventual suffering and death of Christ.

So, this psalm is an outstanding choice by Peter because it draws on the rich, OT example of brotherhood (in this case, brotherhood strife) while also connecting to the example of Christ in his own suffering, in whose steps Peter has already told us we are supposed to be following (1 Pet 2:24). Let’s read Psalm 34 together.

From this psalm, we can make many more connections, but these are the ones that Peter encourages us to focus on:

• If you want to live a long and fruitful life, you should refrain from saying hurtful things about other believers even when they speak hurtful things to you or about you to others.
• When given the opportunity to do hurtful things to someone else, even in the name of revenge or self-inflicted justice, you should do something good and encouraging instead.
• You should be very deliberate and intentional about bringing peace to broken relationships between believers, whether that is between you and another believer or between one believer and another.
• We should be motivated to treat one another this way – even in our worst moments – because we know that the Lord pays careful and close attention to us, and he hears our prayers. It is more effective to pray for brothers and sisters who mistreat us and speak badly about us than it is to inflict equal and opposite treatment towards them.
• What’s more, God sets himself against those of us who treat one each other badly – this includes those who initiate bad words and behavior and those who respond to bad words and behavior with more bad words and behavior their own.

As we come close to the end of another year and prepare for a new year together as church, let’s recommit ourselves to taking our next steps in following Christ by practicing one of our five core values – close relationships.

As Christ himself said, "Whoever does the will of God is my brother and my sister and mother” (Mark 3:35). This statement motivates us to draw together through the joys and struggles of life as a spiritual, intergenerational family who connects, spends time with, and mentors one another in all aspects of life.

May we allow whatever differences we may have blend together in a likeminded harmony and affection for one another as we love one another as brothers and sisters in our commitment to follow Christ together.