Responding to Difficult People

Thinking God’sWay, Lesson 9

Thinking God’sWay is a series of Bible studies that help believers meditate on theWord of God for the purpose of Christian growth. Each lesson features a verseof Scripture in English and the original language (whether Hebrew or Greek). Italso provides basic background information, followed by basic word definitionsand other key insights. Each lesson concludes with some questions formeditation and for applying the truth to life.

InitialThoughts

Sometimes whenyou love and serve people, they play “hard to get,” push back, or reject yourinput in their lives. These are difficult junctures in relationships, so howshould you respond? This verse provides some perspective that will help youface these challenges head on with the mindset of Christ himself.

Key Verse: 2Corinthians 12:15

In English(NKJV)

I will verygladly spend and be spent for your souls; though the more abundantly I loveyou, the less I am loved.

In Greek

εγω ηδιστα δαπανησω και εκδαπανηθησομαι υπερ των ψυχωνυμων ει και περισσοτερως υμας αγαπων ηττον αγαπωμαι

English andGreek Together

I will verygladly spend (εγω ηδισταδαπανησω) and be spent (και εκδαπανηθησομαι) for your souls (υπερ των ψυχων υμων); though the more abundantly I love you (και περισσοτερως υμας αγαπων), the less I am loved (ηττον αγαπωμαι).

BackgroundInformation

This statementappears in the New Testament (NT) book of 2 Corinthians, which is a letter Paulwrote to the church in the city of Corinth in southern Greece.

As an apostle,he had labored tirelessly to strengthen their spiritual lives and increasetheir Christian maturity. He invested his life into them, even though they hadmany problems and proved to be a serious challenge!

So how did theyrespond to his investment of love? Sadly, some persisted in sinful living. Othersdrifted away to follow more captivating and impressive teachers. Still otherswanted to treat Paul as a client whom they could control rather than aspiritual leader whom they should follow. This verse describes how Paul choseto respond to this disappointing feedback.

Keywords andtheir Meanings

Mounce’sComplete Expository Dictionary of Old & New Testament Words (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2006) together with an interlinearBible, like The NKJV Greek English Interlinear New Testament (ThomasNelson, 1994) is an excellent way to get accurate definitions for your Biblestudy based upon Greek and Hebrew meanings.

• Verygladly (ἡδέως): “with pleasure, gladly, willingly”

• Spend(δαπανάω): “to expend, be at expense; to spend, waste, consume byextravagance.”

• Bespent (ἐκδαπανάω): “to expend, consume, exhaust.”Whereas the first word, spend, conveys extravagance (which means “alot”), this second word conveys exhaustion, which means more than “a lot” – itmeans everything. Furthermore, whereas the first word, spend,conveys spending your resources of one kind or another, the second word conveysspending your own self as a person.

• For (ὑπέρ): “in behalf of, instead of, [for the benefit of].” This isthe same word Paul uses to describe the significance of Christ’ssubstitutionary death for ungodly people, which secures our salvation. “Christdied for (ὑπέρ) the ungodly” (Rom 5:6). This word conveys more than just doingsomething nice for another person. I conveys something deeper, like doingsomething that genuinely benefits the other person.

• Soul(ψυχή): “a human individual, soul.” In this verse, it refers toliving, breathing people who were members of the church at Corinth.

• Moreabundantly (περισσοτέρως): “more, moreabundantly, more earnestly, more vehemently.”

• Love(ἀγαπάω): “to love, value, esteem, feel or manifest generous concernfor, be faithful towards; to delight in.” This is the kind of love that valuesand genuinely appreciates (or finds pleasure) in another person and behaves ina way that proves it.

• Less(ἥσσων): “lesser, inferior, weaker.”

• Beloved (ἀγαπάω): this is the same word as before, onlyit described the action (or affection) in the opposite direction. Whereas thefirst instance describes how Paul feels and behaves towards the resistantpeople at Corinth, this second instance describes hos they feel and behavetowards him in return.

Other KeyInsights

The youin this verse is plural, reminding us that Paul is not speaking about anisolated individual in the church. He is speaking about multiple people.

Questions forMeditation and Reflection

Name somethings that we can “spend” for other people.

Money, food,clothing, possessions, collectibles, hospitality, vehicle, credit card points, andmore!

Name some waysthat we can spend “ourselves” for other people.

Time, labor, prayer, phone calls, Bible study,energy, reputation, and more!

Why is itimportant that Paul mentions “very gladly” here rather than just saying “I willspend and be spent” instead?

Because it ispossible to expend your resources and yourself for other people, but in agrudging or resentful, religious or dutiful way only. It is counterproductiveto do these things when you’re not glad to do so.

What are somerelationships in our lives that require this kind of love and are, in otherwords, expensive and exhausting?

Marriage,parenting, children to parents (esp. with elderly parents), unbelievingneighbors, new believers, other brothers and sisters in Christ in early stagesof spiritual growth, and more.

What is ournatural response to people when we spend resources and energy on them only toget pushback instead?

To back awayand to quit.

How does theword “more abundantly” challenge our natural mindset?

It’s theopposite of our natural tendency to withdraw. We prefer to reach out to peopleincrementally, but only to the degree that they respond in a positive way. Wesay, “If you take a step towards me, then I’ll take another step towards you.” Instead,Paul said, “If you take a step away from me, then I’ll take two steps towards you.”

A PersonalTranslation

Before you considerhow to apply this truth to your life by allowing it to change your mindset andapproach to life, write out a personal translation. Use what you havelearned  to write this verse in your ownwords.

Questions forPersonal Application

• What resources have you given away for the benefit of others?

• Werethere any side effects of doing this? Was it worth it?

• Howhave you given of yourself for the benefit of others?

• Werethere any side effects of doing this? Was it worth it?

• Whatrelationship(s) have been the most expensive for you?

• Whatrelationship(s) have been the most exhausting for you?

• Behonest. Are you glad you made (or are making) these investments?

• Howwell are people responding to your investment(s) in their lives?

• Howlong does it take (or has it taken) to achieve meaningful, positive,reciprocating results?

• What do you know about the nature of God that encourages you to respond to people this way?

• How does the gospel message and the example of Christ encourage you to people respond this way (cf. Heb 12:2, etc.)?

• How can you depend on God to put this truth into practice this week?