Qualities that Grace Denies

If you’re a manager, temp agency rep, or a small business owner who’s recruiting a new employee and you interview potential candidates, you look for positive qualities in each one. At the same time, you look for certain negative qualities, too. By “negative” qualities I mean candidates who are better qualified for the job because they do not have certain qualities. We can describe these qualities by placing not at the beginning of each one.

• Not quick to blame-shift
• Not inclined to make excuses
• Not easily distracted
• Not easily offended
• Not lazy

When Paul described the kind of men for Titus to appoint as pastors on the island of Crete, he took a similar approach. First he described the kind of husband and father this man must be and he will provide six positive personal qualities which must also be present. Yet in between these two sets of qualities, he gives a set of five negative qualities to avoid. A pastor must not be: (1) self-willed, (2) quick-tempered, (3) given to wine, (4) violent, or (5) greedy for money.

When we speak about grace, we are speaking about God’s free and unearned ability to be what we should be and to do what we should do. To be accepted by God and to behave like God, both of these things we can only experience as we trust in Jesus Christ alone. Such trust and transformation is possible for anyone, regardless of your past.

As a church - a group of people who gather together because of God’s grace - we should reflect the kind of change that grace makes possible.

• As we depend upon Christ, he makes possible certain qualities in our lives. Next week we’ll look closely at some of the qualities that grace supplies (Tit 1:8).
• As we depend upon Christ, he also enables us to put away and overcome certain qualities in our lives as well. I will call these the “qualities that grace denies” (Tit 1:7).

In particular, we are looking at these qualities from the standpoint of how the leaders (pastors) of a church behave. This is important because the leaders in a church (like the leaders in any institution or organization) influence the kind of culture that a church exhibits and experiences together.

Today we use phrases like a “toxic culture,” for instance, to describe a frustrating, hurtful, or negative experience at school, on a team, or at work. Such difficult, painful experiences often occur because certain kinds of people are influencing and leading in a hurtful way. Of all places, such a toxic, hurtful culture should not occur in the church. The church - of all places - should exhibit a culture of grace.

As accepting, forgiving, and loving as grace should be, grace also denies certain behaviors as well because such behavior does not reflect the good and gracious character of God. Therefore, the leaders of a church should not exhibit such behavior and qualities, either. This requires the grace of God.

Let’s take a close look at why these negative qualities (or the absence of these qualities) are important. Then let’s be sure we understand what each of these qualities mean. Last, let’s consider whether we’re encouraging and exhibiting these qualities in our church.

A pastor is both an example and executive for the church.

“For a bishop must be blameless”

By example I am referring to his role as an elder. The word elder means he must provide a genuine, visible example of a life that’s been changed and transformed by God’s grace. He must be an example that others can emulate and respect. Both his message and his life should provide hope to the rest of the church and community at large that God’s grace does make possible a genuine godly life.

By executive I am referring to his role as a bishop. The word bishop means he must provide administrative oversight for the church similar to how a governor manages a city, a supervisor manages a shift, or a CEO manages a company. As an overseer, he must make decisions, identify and equip people to carry out important tasks, and motivate the church to fulfill its mission.

Yet as an administrative leader, a pastor must not conduct himself as though he is the absolute or supreme leader. Though he is responsible for the direction, health, and success of the church, he does not own the church nor is he ultimately in charge, as Paul makes clear.

A pastor cares for the church on God’s behalf.

“As a steward of God”

In first-century Rome, a steward was a servant with enormous responsibility. He managed an estate for someone else. The responsibilities of a steward could include as much as the following:

• Caring for the education, health, and well-being of a man’s family members (his wife, his children, and even his parents).
• Caring for and supervising anyone else who was employed by the owner of the estate.
• Managing the financial expenses, income, and investments of the estate.
• Managing all the buildings, livestock, and other assets and resources of the estate.
• Ensuring the efficient and successful operation of any business within the estate, whether farming, manufacturing, politics, or trade.

Though a steward’s decisions carried great authority, this authority was delegated for the purpose of getting things done, not because he was an important person who deserved such power by nature. He was obligated to use his authority for the good of the estate, the people it touched, and the owner of the estate himself. He was being trusted to make the right decisions on behalf of all these parties, not for the benefit of himself. He was ultimately accountable to the owner of the estate for his choices and actions.

Shepherd the flock of God which is among you, serving as overseers, not by compulsion but willingly, not for dishonest gain but eagerly; nor as being lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock; and when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that does not fade away.

1 Peter 5:2-4

Moreover it is required in stewards that one be found faithful.

1 Corinthians 4:2

Since pastors function as stewards of God to lead and care for the church, they must behave in a way that not only accomplishes God’s purpose for the church but reflects God’s character. If the manager of a fast-food restaurant or department store does not reflect the ethics and values of its founder and owner, for instance, she will fail to succeed.

The church, of course, has a far more significant purpose than grilling burgers or selling clothes. It reflects God’s character and God’s salvation to the world. It is the channel of God’s grace to the world and a source of hope - the hope that real change is possible in our lives and that we can fulfill God’s purpose for our lives through Christ.

God cares more about a man’s character than his accomplishments.

The leaders of a church – especially its pastors – should do more than make choices for the church of an administrative nature. They should reflect the character and virtues of God through their lives. No matter how successful a pastor (or pastoral team) may be in his administrative skill, he will ultimately fail at his mission as a steward of God if they exhibit the five negative qualities Paul mentions.

When pastors exhibit these qualities, they may be effective administrators from a business or secular standpoint - they may get things done! But they will not be effective from a spiritual standpoint. They will give both the world and church a bad impression of God and will risk turning people away from him rather than towards him.

A pastor must not be self-willed. (NKJV)

This negative quality describes a man who is aggressive, arrogant, assertive, domineering, overbearing, and stubborn. Such a man acts independently and refuses to seek consensus or cooperate with others. He takes a “my way or the highway” approach and believes that because he’s in charge, his ideas are always the best ideas by default.

• Do you treat people in a stubborn (passive), domineering (active) way in the church by forcing your will and preference on them? Do you do this outside the church?
• Does a stubborn attitude characterize the culture of our church? Do we encourage consensus and cooperation or is there a “my way or the highway” approach that looms over the rest?

A pastor must not be prone to anger. (NET)

This negative quality does not portray a man who has lost his temper on occasion. Instead, it portrays a man who gets angry a lot. This is a man with a reputation for having angry outbursts and easily getting upset. This sort of man carries a “chip on his shoulder” holds grudges, responding in anger to every frustration that comes his way.

• Do you frequently “fly off the handle” and vent your anger towards people in the church? Do you do this outside the church?
• Does an angry spirit characterize the culture of our church? Do we hold grudges and become easily upset?

A pastor must not be a heavy drinker. (NLT)

This negative quality portrays a man literally with “wine at his side” (πάρ + οινος). This kind of man is always drinking an intoxicating beverage or relies on alcohol to get through the difficulties of life. Such a man is addicted to alcohol and relinquishes his mind to its control. We may apply this principle to various drug addictions or substance abuse today.

• Do you rely on alcohol or some kind of illicit drug to control your mind and escape reality? Are you abusing any substances like this?
• Do we encourage freedom from substance abuse or do we enable it either ignoring it or saying it’s okay?

A pastor must not be pugnacious. (NASB)

This negative quality refers to a mean and abusive man whose fists are clenched and who bullies and harms people with his words as well. Such a man always seems to be looking for a fight, jumping into one controversy after another. He leads by force rather than example and hurts people along the way, wounding them physically and emotionally.

• Do you bully people with your words or by physical force?
• Do our Bible studies and discussions (even our preaching) manifest an argumentative tone, debates over hot-button issues, and talking down people rather than listening and providing thoughtful replies?

A pastor must not be greedy for money. (NKJV)

This negative quality refers to a man who’s “in it for the money.” Though Scripture teaches that faithful pastors should receive necessary financial support, pastors should not carry out their responsibilities from a motivation to get rich. A pastor must also not be a man who earns money through dishonest or irresponsible means.

• Do you exhibit this tendency in the way you treat other people in the church? Outside the church?
• Does our church exhibit a materialistic mentality, viewing God as a means to a materialistic and successful lifestyle or reserving our best resources for ourselves while giving the minimum to God?
• Do our financial choices as individuals and a church reflect biblical values and goals or personal and selfish ones?

When we manifest any of these five qualities in our lives, we are manifesting the tendencies of a person who lives out their natural born condition, who have not be transformed by the grace of God. Such behavior does not reflect the nature of God or a close relationship with God, and these are not appropriate ways to treat the church and people of God.

God’s grace enables us to detect and reject these negative qualities.

By detect I mean to notice them in our lives, and by reject I mean to remove them from our lives. Yet we are unable to do either of these things without the grace of God. As we’ve learned before, God’s grace is his free and unlimited ability to be what we should be and do what we should do.

All five of these negative qualities are natural, somewhat normal qualities and tendencies for all of us – not just of potential leaders in the church. Remember that Titus was tasked with identifying leaders for new churches on the island of Crete. The pool of potential pastors would have come from new believers who had formerly lived selfish, sinful lives.

Since this was the case, Titus needed to evaluate whether the men who would become the pastors of these newly formed churches had genuinely changed.

• Were they still stubborn and self-assertive or had they learned to value God’s will and the need and perspectives of other believers more than their desires?
• Did they still tend to blow up or get angry at any frustration, holding grudges and hoping for revenge, or had they learned to forgive and love instead?
• Did they still run to alcohol (or other controlling substances) to escape their sorrows, or had they learned to entrust their cares to God and enjoy life with a clear mind?
• Did they still settle disputes with their fists and cut people with hurtful words, or had they learned to receive the peace of God and practice patience instead?
• Was “making money” or “getting rich” still a driving motivation in their life and work, or had they learned to value the success of God’s kingdom first of all?

Can you detect any of these negative qualities in your life? Which one is a greater struggle for you?

If so, you need the grace of God to intervene in your life in one of two ways. Either you need him to save you from the power of these desires or you need him to teach you how to live differently.

For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men, teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly in the present age

Titus 2:11-12

These verses, which may be the heart and center of the entire letter, remind us of the two ways that grace impacts our lives.

• First, grace brings salvation from these tendencies. This occurs when we turn away from such selfish, repulsive behavior and trust in Christ alone instead. Apart from Christ, we are unable to be freed from these tendencies and will always be guilty of such behavior. When we turn to Christ and trust in him to save us, he exchanges his goodness for our badness. He removes the guilt and power of such tendencies from our lives forever.
• Second, grace equips us to overcome these tendencies. Once we’ve turned to Christ for salvation, God’s we still struggle to live according to our new identity as God’s children. Thankfully, God’s grace enables us to think, feel, and behave differently than we did before. As God’s children, we have the daily privilege of trusting in his grace to think, feel, and do what we learn from the Bible. Over time, he enables us to say ‘no’ to those old selfish desires and ‘yes’ to godly, Christlike behavior.

As a church, we must diligently depend on God to encourage such change in our lives. We should not be content to go on behaving this way even if we’ve found some measure of success from doing so.

• We should pray for his grace to save more people in our community from living lives that are controlled and overwhelmed by such tendencies.
• We should also pray for his grace to overcome such tendencies in our daily lives as his children.

As we pray for God’s grace to increase in these ways, we should pray for our pastor(s) to exhibit these qualities in his (their) lives and should pray for more men to exhibit these qualities in their lives as well.

In this study, we’ve focused on the qualities that grace denies. Next week we’ll focus on the qualities that grace supplies. Let’s depend on God’s grace this week to overcome these five tendencies in our lives.