Blood is Thicker Than Water

Sometimes we use phrases in ways that differ from their original meaning. For instance, you've heard the phrase, "Blood is thicker than water." You probably think it means something like, "Family relationships are stronger than other relationships." Indeed, that is how people commonly use the phrase today.

Sometimes we use phrases in ways that differ from their original meaning.

You might be surprised to know that this phrase originally meant the opposite of how we use it today. Blood did not represent family ties; it represented either a covenant connection or a wartime bond. If it referred to an ancient covenant connection, it referred to the kind of covenant or treaty one nation would make with another, or one person would make with another. These treaties involved the sacrifice of an animal in which representatives of both parties would walk between both halves, stepping where the blood had been shed. If it referred to wartime bonds, then it referred to the close ties that fellow soldiers felt for one another after fighting and surviving harrowing, bloody battles together.

Though blood did not represent family ties, water did. It referred to the water of the womb, representing a close maternal, family connection. Knowing this, you realize that the phrase "blood is thicker than water" actually meant that though family relationships form a close connection, some other relationships may be even stronger.

Where Two or Three are Gathered

"Blood is thicker than water" is a popular phrase, but it is not a Bible verse. But there is one passage of Scripture (among others) that we frequently misunderstand, Matthew 18:19-20, which says, "I say to you that if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered together in my name, I am there in the midst of them.”

Promises for Prayer or Something Else?

We commonly quote these verses when we pray with fellow believers about anything. We allege that if two or more Christians agree together about a prayer request, then God will grant that request (Matt 18:19). If we are being especially careful, we clarify that we must also offer our prayer in accordance with the authority and will of Christ, praying "in his name" (Matt 18:20). But when you study these verses in their original context, then you discover that they are specific promises, not general ones.

When Christ spoke the words of these verses, he was not teaching about church prayer meetings, nor was he teaching about church worship or fellowship gatherings.

When Christ spoke the words of these verses, he was not teaching about church prayer meetings, nor was he teaching about church worship or fellowship gatherings. Instead, he was teaching important lessons about humility and forgiveness (Matt 18). The statements in question appear in a sub-section of these lessons which focuses on how to practice church discipline (Matt 18:15-20).

Promises Regarding Church Discipline

Jesus taught that when one believer sins against another believer, the hurting believer should speak first to the sinning believer in private, seeking an apology and offering forgiveness (Matt 18:15). If an apology does not occur, then the hurting believer should return again, accompanied by one or two other believers; these will serve as witnesses to the fact that the first believer has genuinely pursued restoration and that his or her report is true (Matt 18:16; cf., Deut 17:6, 19:15, John 8:17, 2 Cor 13:1, 1 Tim 5:19, and Heb 10:28). If the sinning believer still refuses to apologize, then the congregation needs to know what has happened so that other members may attempt to bring about restoration. If this third step fails, then the church should view the resistant believer as no longer a member of the church (Matt 18:17).

Jesus recognized the difficulty and awkwardness of following this practice.

Jesus recognized the difficulty and awkwardness of following this practice. Though it seeks restoration (which is a good thing that we all desire), it is an unpleasant process which we may naturally be reluctant to follow. Therefore, to encourage our cooperation, he offered three motivational promises.

1. First, he promised that heaven (referring to God himself) agrees with and approves of church discipline when we follow Christ's divine instructions for carrying it out (Matt 18:18).

2. Second, he extends the first promise by emphasizing the importance of involving more than one person (Matt 18:19). This important requirement ensures mutual respect for all parties by protecting the accused party from false accusations and by supporting the hurting believer in the process.

3. Third, he extends the first and second promise by reiterating that when two or three believers properly pursue the apology and restoration of a sinning fellow church member, the way that Christ prescribed, then they may rest assured that Christ himself approves of their actions and joins with them in a spiritual sense.

When you study these verses in context, as Jesus gave them, then you realize that these are not promises given to us for praying in groups with fellow believers. Instead, they are loving, gentle guarantees that encourage us to practice biblical church discipline when necessary, even though such discipline is an unpleasant and awkward thing to do.

These are loving, gentle guarantees that encourage us to practice biblical church discipline when necessary.

Knowing this, it is still true that Jesus is "with us" as believers in a general and personal sense as we serve him in the world today (Matt 28:20). Furthermore, it is still a good thing for believers to "agree with one another" when we pray (Acts 1:14). What's more, Christ elsewhere promises to answer our prayers when we pray in faith (Matt 7:7-8; 21:22).

Nevertheless, Matthew 18:19-20 is not a passage that teaches these things. It is not a sequence of promises pertaining to corporate prayer. Instead, it is a passage for us to consult and rely upon whenever we need to follow Christ's instructions for church discipline. In summary, then, it assures us of God's sanction (Matt 18:18), God's provision (Matt 18:19), and God's presence (18:20) throughout the church discipline process. These assurances encourage us to practice church discipline when the need to do so occurs.

For anyone who asks, "But isn't Christ applying general promises and universal truths (in Matt 18:19-20) to the specific situation of church discipline?" here are some important thoughts to consider.

• Using a general word like ask does not automatically refer to private or corporate prayer (Matt 18:19). Using such logic would require you to interpret a general word like save as always referring to justification and the moment of conversion. If that were the case, then Peter was converted in the storm on Galilee (Matt 14:30)! Just as context helps you determine what kind of saving happened to Peter in Matt 14:30, context also helps you determine what kind of asking Jesus is teaching in Matt 18:19. He is teaching about the kind of asking and prayer that corresponds to church discipline.

• Using an inclusive word like anything in does not automatically make this a principle that applies to, well ... um - anything, such as any prayer whatsoever (Matt 18:19). It refers to anything within the scope of what Jesus is teaching in this passage, which happens to be church discipline. So then, God will bring about whatever you may need to ask from him as you follow the church discipline model Christ taught us.

• To claim that Matt 18:19-20 provides us with two universal principles which apply to church prayer and worship, you should also be prepared to make a similar claim about Matt 18:18, granting open-ended authority to believers to "bind" and "loose" anything at all. Instead, it seems most reasonable to view all three verses in Matt 18:18-20 as specific principles that correspond to church discipline rather than as larger general principles being applied to church discipline.