Love Like You Mean It
There’s no shortage of books offering marriage advice. Sadly, many offer no more than the latest faddish twist on how to “spice up” your relationship with superficial tips and strategies rooted more in pop psychology than biblical truth.
That’s why this book is so refreshing. Love Like You Mean It offers straightforward explanations of the New Testament’s pivotal passage on love – 1 Corinthians 13:1-8 – offering key insights and helpful applications for a marriage that honors God.
It reads like a seasoned pastor providing biblical marriage counseling with engaging, personal illustrations. That’s where Bob Lepine’s background shines through. He serves as the teaching pastor at Redeemer Community Church and the longtime cohost of FamilyLife Today, a nationally syndicated radio program. He and his wife Mary Ann raised five children and have nine grandchildren.
Chapter 1 jumps right in by emphasizing the centrality and necessity of love from 1 Cor 13:1-3 and demonstrates how God’s definition of love differs from normal, secular ideas about love. Then the next nine chapters explore Paul’s infamous description of love, one trait at a time. Love is (1) patient, (2) kind, (3) humble, (4) generous, (5) unflappable, (6) virtuous, (7) honest, (8) tenacious, and it (9) never fails.
The reader will appreciate the many impactful statements sprinkled throughout the book that challenge wrong but popular feelings and ideas about love and marriage. At one place Bob says, “Most of us get married to get, not to give” (p. 4), and later, “People don’t make you irritable; a lack of love for God and others is what makes you irritable” (p. 121). Then there’s my personal favorite: “The 50-50 approach to marriage doesn’t work” (p. 123). I’m glad he corrects this popular misconception.
Another strength of this book is how the author maintains a biblical distinction between the patience of godly love towards an imperfect spouse on the one hand (which is a good quality) and the problem of ignoring or enabling a spouse’s sinful behavior on the other hand (which is not). “It’s not loving to ignore or enable sin,” says Lepine, “that anemic view of love is often simply disguising a fear of loving confrontation” (p. 133). The book repeatedly affirms this important truth and offers advice on how to practice loving confrontation when needed. Pastors will appreciate this feature and so will believers who are married to a difficult spouse.
As far as marriage counseling is concerned, this book seems more suitable for already-married couples who desire to improve or strengthen their marriage than as a resource for premarital counseling. That said, it will be ideal for a variety of settings, including:
- personal reading
- reading as a couple
- a guide for pastoral marriage counseling
- small group studies.
The books usefulness is enhanced by thirty-seven pairs of “Talk Together” questions that help readers internalize and respond to key truths, though the absence of a Scripture index seems like a missed opportunity.
If you’re looking for a biblical refresher or study guide to give your marriage a God-centered perspective, then Love Like You Mean It is an excellent choice. As a pastor, I look forward to recommending this book to married couples in the church.
Thanks to B&H Publishing for providing me with a copy of this book. This did not influence the outcome of my review.
