Where’s the Light?

As we walk through life, sometimes it feels like we’ve wandered into a long dark tunnel to nowhere. When this happens, we tend to lunge forward, hoping for a quick way out. When this panicked effort fails, we then turn to the age-old adage and “look for a light at the end of the tunnel.”

Yet no matter how hard we strain and how far we stare into the future, we may see no light at all, not even a glimmer. We may even discover that the tunnel is longer than we envisioned at first. And if (or when) we do see some light, we’re often dismayed to learn that it’s the light of an oncoming train, speeding straight for the spot where we’re standing!

When we “look for a light at the end of the tunnel,” we look to the wrong end of the tunnel.

Here’s the problem. When we “look for a light at the end of the tunnel,” we look to the wrong end of the tunnel. Instead of staring off into the unknown future ahead, we should look to the past at what we already know, because remembrance breeds endurance, but guessing about the future breeds doubts.

From One Musician to Another

Psalm 77 gives the lyrics for a song written by Asaph, a leader of Jewish Temple worship, to be performed by Jeduthun, another worship leader (1 Chron 25:2-3).

This psalm is a testimony through music. It’s a testimony about remembering and it recalls two things: a dark tunnel experience in Asaph’s past and how he got through it.

This psalm describes the thoughts and feelings Asaph had when he went through a dark time, but it doesn’t tell us what the tunnel actually was. Some Psalms tell us more, like “David wrote this poem when he was running away from his son” (Psa 3), “David composed this song when an enemy made threats on his life” (Psa 7), or, “This is how David responded when God rescued him from his worst enemy” (Psa 18), and so on.

This is important, I think, because by suppressing the trial itself, Asaph makes it easier for us all to identify with his struggle. Is he talking about the experience of betrayal, illness, fear, financial uncertainty, or something else? Who knows!

That’s the beauty of this Psalm. The struggle, the dark tunnel, could be anything. By giving this song to Jeduthun, Asaph shared this description of his dark tunnel experience with anyone else who would worship the Lord, though their own dark tunnels may differ.

Zooming Out a Little

The first half of this song describes a deep and intense struggle. Now, this struggle wasn’t the trial itself, whatever circumstances he was up against externally. The struggle occurred inside of him with the way he was thinking and feeling as he went through the trial – and this is always the real struggle anyway, isn’t it?

According to the first three verses of this song, Asaph’s thoughts drifted towards God, which at first seems like a good thing (Psa 77:1-3). But when he thought about God, something unexpected happened. He didn’t find any comfort. He grew increasingly troubled (anxious) and overwhelmed (pathetically weak) instead. Yikes.

Has this ever happened to you? Have you prayed to God in a tight spot and things seemed to go from bad to worse, not better?

Have you prayed to God in a tight spot and things seemed to go from bad to worse, not better?

According to the next three verses, we find that Asaph began to blame God for his struggle (Psa 77:4-6). He accused God of “holding his eyelids open” late at night, preventing him from getting any sleep. Yes, he blamed God for his insomnia.

Even so, he tried to think “happy thoughts.” He tuned the channel of his mind to the “good old days” station. He revisited those happy days of childhood and youth when he sang songs in the night, songs of happiness and excitement, optimism and hope. He thought long and hard about these happy, wistful memories which had blown away like glitter in the wind.

Where had those days gone? Was such happiness gone forever? Just as thoughts about God had brought him no comfort, so thoughts about his happier days failed him as well. Rather than flood his heart with happiness once again, these memories flooded his mind with questions instead – six questions, in fact – questions about God.

1. Will the Lord cast off forever?
2. Will he be favorable no more?
3. Has his mercy ceased forever?
4. Has his promise failed forevermore?
5. Has he forgotten to be gracious?
6. Has he in anger shut up His tender mercies?

Through all these questions runs a common theme – a thread of finality. Asaph is asking whether the ways things are – dark and painful – the way they would now be forever. Was this the new normal? Were happiness and blessing officially a thing of the past?

These questions show us that Asaph was not just discouraged, he was depressed – or at least he was about to get started with being depressed. Discouragement is a passing feeling of loss, but depression is what happens when this feeling settles in for a nice, long stay.

Is that where you’re at today? Are you thinking about inviting these questions of doubt and feelings of despair to settle down in your mind, too?

Zooming Out Even More

Thankfully, Asaph decided to send these questions packing. In the next six verses, he broadened his perspective (Psa 77:10-15). He decided to think bigger than his own lifetime and his little bit of experiences with God, which is important to do because whatever God is doing is much bigger than any one of us.

He “remembered the years of the right hand of the Most High,” which means that he considered the big picture, what God had been doing throughout history, not just in his own little lifetime (Psa 77:10).

Rather than focus on his own handful of experiences, whether happy or sad, he expanded his perspective to all that God has done from the beginning. He decided to meditate on “all God’s work” (Psa 77:12).

He reminded himself that God is transcendent … in other words, he is larger than life (Psa 77:13). And what he is doing in the world is much larger and greater than any one’s individual life, too. When we try to figure out God and what he is doing from the small window that our individual, isolated lives gives us, we’ll reach some wrong conclusions. But when we consider the big picture of all that God is doing, we find hope.

Notice how Asaph named two men in v.15. Why are they significant? Because these men represented the nation of Israel, whom God had promised to bless. But these men failed to see this blessing in the small, limited timeframe of their own lives.

Both Jacob and Joseph died in Egypt, far away from their beloved, promised homeland. What’s more, their ancestors spent 430 years in Egypt, including a long while in slavery. There’s was a long dark tunnel, wasn’t it? But they had God’s past promise to Abraham to hold on to. The future was dark and unknown, but the past gave light.

The end of this song finishes on a high note (Psa 77:16-20). It fast forwards through 430 years, from Jacob and Joseph to Moses and Aaron. Have you ever considered what all those Israelites thought and felt in Egypt one generation as they walked through 430 years of a long, dark tunnel that only seemed to get worse?

Well, after all that time, God burst again onto the scene in an awe-inspiring way. To make this point most obvious, Asaph zooms in the lens of his mind’s eye to the Red Sea crossing, when God stirred up a storm and split the Red Sea in two so that Israel could walk through on dry land, delivering them once and for all from slavery in Egypt and bringing them to the land he had promised Jacob and Joseph more than four centuries before.

This Tunnel We’re Stuck in Right Now

Though we don’t know what Asaph was facing exactly, we know how he felt, and we can sympathize with him for sure. Maybe we’re sleeping a little bit less and we’re wondering if the good and happy days are gone forever. Is this going to be the new normal? Will it ever end and when?

Is this going to be the new normal? Will it ever end and when?

As we wait out this COVID19 pandemic, let’s not all make a mad dash for a fast exit and pin our hopes on shifting deadlines, shaky projections, government officials, and experimental meds.

Instead, let’s do two things. First, remember what God has done in the past to show himself faithful and then worship him in a more mature, patient, and trusting way. Let’s keep the big picture in mind, the whole big picture, not just the picture of our individual lives. Sometimes what God does takes a really long time from our perspective. Sometimes he seems silent and out of reach, and sometimes his plan requires our suffering – but that’s okay. He’s God and when he decides to intervene in a positive, delivering way, he will do it and we’ll all rejoice.

Let's not forget to remember, becuase remembrance breeds endurance.

So, let’s not look for the light at the end of the tunnel in this life now, asking small-minded questions late at night. Let’s remember the great things God has done in the past and wait for him to do so again, no matter how long from now that may be. There are much bigger, brighter, greater things ahead than parting the Red Sea. Until then …let’s not forget to remember because remembrance breeds endurance.