Illogical Love

Christian love operates in an illogical way. Before I explain what I mean by this from Scripture, let me describe two realistic scenarios we may face today that challenge our understanding of love.

Two Case Studies

Let me introduceyou to Joe and Lisa, a happily married couple who live a hard-working but comfortablelife. They raised four children together, providing them with good educationand participating with them in a good church. Halfway through high school,their youngest child began to push back against godly, biblical values. She developedsome bad friendships at school, adopted some bad habits, and broke householdrules on a regular basis. What should they do? How should they respond now thatshe was valuing the input of her so-called friends over the input of herparents?

Let me alsointroduce you to Adam, a faithful member of his church. One Sunday he welcomeda visitor named Marcos. They exchanged numbers and text frequently. A monthlater, they began a gospel Bible study, with the result that Marcos was baptizedand joined the church. Months later, though, he missed church services with increasedfrequency. He had discovered other preachers online and felt they had more tooffer. What should Adam do? How should he respond now that Marcos was beginningto prioritize the ministry of other teachers over his own church?

A SharedDilemma

When we face dilemmaslike these, whether as parents of our own children or mentors of otherChristians, we struggle with knowing how to respond. Should we back off orwhat?

If we respond the wrong way, we may lose important relationships forever and people may fail to become what they should become. While it is true that we can't win with everybody, we shouldn't lose with everybody either!

Explaining theText

Paul faced asimilar dilemma with the members of the church at Corinth. As an apostle, he laboredtirelessly to strengthen their spiritual lives and increase their Christianmaturity.

How did theyrespond? Sadly:

• Somepersisted in sinful living.
• Othersdrifted away to follow more captivating and impressive teachers.
• Stillothers wanted to treat Paul as a client whom they could control rather than aspiritual leader whom they should follow.

How did Paulrespond to this unfortunate turn of events? He said, “I will very gladly spendand be spent for your souls; though the more abundantly I love you, the less Iam loved” (2 Corinthians 12:15).

In thisstatement, the first words describe the strategy of his response, then thefinal words describe the conditions of his response. Together, these words resemblethe response of a loving parent who refused to abdicate his or her parentalobligations.

The Illogical Strategyof Paul

At firstglance, his strategy seems illogical – contrary to common sense. At a momentwhen we would expect him to back away, he moved forward instead. He intended togive more not less, to increase his efforts rather than decrease them, and to intensifyhis efforts rather than diminish them.

The Greek wordtranslated spend means a range of things, from paying expenses to shellingout money in an extravagant and wasteful way. The Greek word translated bespent means to spend to the point of exhaustion, extending beyond yourmaterial resources to your own personal time, energy, and physical health aswell.

As crazy asthis strategy may seem, Paul was not reluctant or unwilling to do it. He was veryglad, which means that he was happy and delighted to do so.

The ContradictoryConditions Paul Faced

This costly andexcessive strategy stands out even more because of the conditions that governedit.

You wouldexpect Paul to say something like, “The more you love me, the more abundantly Iwill love you in return.” In other words, you would expect Paul to gradually intensifyhis ministry efforts to the degree that the believers in Corinth responded tohim in a positive way.

Instead, hetook the opposite approach. He chose to increase his acts of spiritual devotionto them to the degree that they responded to him in a negative way. In essence,he said, “The less you show love towards me, the more I’ll show love in return.”Or, “the more you push back, the more I’ll push forward in response.”

Adopting aGospel Response

Parents raising children and Christians mentoring other Christians know the feeling. We invest our resources and our own selves for the betterment of other people, only to receive some push back and resistance instead.

If Christhimself, the greatest teacher of all time (who is also God), experienced thiswith his own disciples (and he did), then you and I should expect no different.

Unfortunately,we often respond the wrong way. When our physical or spiritual children rebuffus to do their own thing, we shrink into a corner. We back away and do less,not more. When they push back, we push them away. We spend less, not more. Wegive less, not more. We love less, not more.

Our natural responseis not a gospel response, nor is it a godly one. It is a self-preserving oneinstead.

When Adam andEve sinned, God did not withdraw himself. He came to them and offered asolution – one that would cost him the death of the Son for the guilt of oursins.

• John3:16 says, “God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son.”
• Romans5:8 says, “God demonstrates his own love toward us, in that while we were stillsinners, Christ died for us.”

God respondedto your resistance by drawing near. You sinned against him, so he sent us hisSon.

Putting This All Together

So how shouldJoe and Lisa respond to their rebellious child? And how should Adam respond toMarcos, his disciple who’s drifting away.

A Fascinating Story(Told by Jesus)

Jesus told astory that illustrates God’s approach (Matt 21:33-39; Mark 12:1-8; Luke20:9-12). A wealthy landowner planted a vineyard, leased it to some farmers,then traveled to a faraway country. During harvest time, he sent one of his representativesto get some of the harvest and bring it back to him. The farmers beat the manand sent him back empty instead. When he sent a second man, they injured himwith stones and sent him back empty, too. When he sent a third man, they killedhim outright. They continued to do the same for others, too, whether killing orinjuring them. Finally, the landowner sent his own son, whom they killed likethe rest.

This story illustrateshow Israel treated the prophets God sent to them in the Old Testament and howthey eventually treated his Son. But it also shows us the way that God respondsto our resistance because his perfect, loving, and divine nature is this way.

Loving Your OwnCorinthians Today

Who are the Corinthiansin your life today? Who is pushing back against your loving efforts to pointthem to Christ? When they don’t return or respond to your love as they should,how do you respond to them? Do you find ways to give more and love more, or doyou quickly back away with hurt feelings?

Imagine achurch where members don’t stand by as spectators to see what will happen withnew guests, new believers, and new members. Imagine a church where more membersincrease their love and efforts to bring people along in their spiritual growth,especially when they begin to waver.

Who can you reachout to in Christian love this week and next? Who needs you to give them alittle bit more, both of your resources and of your own self?

How can youshow this love to them in a real way – and gladly? This is the way that Godloves you and he will enable you to do it.