Healthy Doctrine for Older Men
Titus 2:1-2
Jonathan Swift, a historic English/Irish poet and satirist, once announced, "Every man desires to live long, but no man desires to be old," and we tend to agree.
Our Western culture takes a pessimistic, reluctant view towards old age. We hide our white hair, cringe when someone asks our age, and do whatever we can to appear and behave as young as possible. Yet older men and women fill a crucial role in our communities, our families, and the church.
From a general, universal standpoint, older people should offer the wisdom that experience provides. They’ve experienced more things and can offer a more informed perspective to others as a result.
From a biblical, spiritual standpoint, older people should offer a more Christlike example to follow. They’ve learned more from God’s Word and become more like Christ than the rest of us – or at least this should be the case.
Whether from a natural or spiritual perspective, our lives are like a jigsaw puzzle. As we progress through the experiences of life and spiritual change, the pieces of our puzzle gradually pop into place. In this way, the older a man becomes, the clearer and more complete his example and perspective should become, not only because he has experienced and learned more things, but because he has become more like Christ.
How old must you be to be an “older man” in the church? Paul does not give a clear age for when a man moves from “younger” to “older.”
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, a prestigious associate justice of the Supreme Court, has suggested that "old age is always fifteen years older than I am." While we like this definition, we should try to be more specific!
- Then, of course, there’s the helpful perspective of actor Norman Wisdom, who said, “As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two.”
A range of 40-50 years may be a safe point of reference, though a specific age is probably not Paul’s primary distinguishing factor. An older man was likely one who had lived long enough to experience life to a more comprehensive extent. He had married, raised children, achieved financial and professional milestones, navigated a variety of challenges, experienced a variety trials, and developed a more complete perspective.
As a man advances through life, what sort of man should he aspire to become? What are the marks of a successful Christian man? Here are some accomplishments and qualities we tend to associate with older Christian men:
- A financially stable position.
- A professionally successful career.
- A marriage that reaches the silver or gold milestone.
- A conservative political perspective.
- A strict, traditional lifestyle.
Though some of these qualities have a degree of positive value, none of them offer definitive evidence of a godly life that’s been changed and shaped by God’s grace over time. I know nonbelieving men with reputations like these, and Jesus himself neither exhibited some of these qualities nor achieved some of these milestones.
Sadly, older men – even within the church – show more evidence of disillusioned hearts and worldly priorities than they do of an inspiring and vibrant Christian life.
The later years of a Christian man’s life should not be consigned to mere existence, binging on personal hobbies, checking off personal bucket lists, lamenting the erosion of society, obsessing over petty concerns, and withdrawing from meaningful roles. Unless physical or physiological factors prevent him, these years should be marked by man’s most confident, meaningful, and strategic impact and contributions of all. They should be more fruitful, satisfying, and vibrant than any years before.
Paul urged Timothy to make teaching like this the focus of his pastoral ministry. This contrasts with the damaging, useless teaching of those who make a big deal about speculative stories and manmade rules of conduct in the name of deeper Bible study and faithful Christian living. You see, as we grow older, our physical health may decline, but our spiritual health should not decline also.
A faithful teaching ministry in the church enables its members to grow progressively in spiritual health even as physical health wanes. As we grow in our awareness of and reliance on God’s grace, this happens. Properly understood, when a man learns what God’s Word says (doctrine), he will believe what God’s Word says (affections) and he will apply what God’s Word says (ethics) through his behavior.
What sort of teaching objectives did Paul emphasize for older men in the church? Asked another way, what sort of personal goals and objectives should older men be pursuing as they allow God’s grace to change and transform their lives? In his letter to Titus, Paul highlights four qualities that an older Christian man should exhibit, by God’s grace.
God’s grace enables older men to think clearly.
To be “sober” may be interpreted narrowly and specifically as man who refuses to get drunk. Though this portrayal certainly applies, Paul seems to highlight a broader quality, that an older man in the church should think clearly in general. In fact, Paul commends this quality to pastors, older men, older women, younger women, and younger men alike!
Such a man makes objective decisions not reactive ones. He does not allow anger, frustration, panic, or sorrow to govern his actions and choices. He is secure in his relationship with Christ and does not allow personal doubts, failures, hurts, and opinions to cloud his judgment.
This is the sort of man you want as the captain of a sinking ship, the general of an army being ambushed, or the surgeon conducting an emergency, open-heart, triple-bypass surgery. He remains calm under pressure and makes biblical, reasonable decisions.
- Does this describe your mindset today?
- What older men in the church do you know who exhibit this quality?
God’s grace enables older men to behave in a dignified manner.
To be “reverent” means to be serious and worthy of respect. This quality does not prohibit a man from being funny, enjoying a good joke, or having a good time. Nor does it envision a man who is snobby, isolated, and aloof. It does, however, envision a man who takes life seriously. He treats other people with dignity and respect, inspiring others to treat him similarly.
Such a man does not approach life in a frivolous manner or laugh everything away. To him, life is not a game. He does not laugh at immoral or vulgar behavior or comments and does not entertain himself with such things either. He does not make flippant, ill-advised decisions, waste time, or make poor friendship choices. He is not childish and shallow in his approach to life. He makes wise choices, engages with people, and invests in causes that are noble and have long-lasting, eternal value.
- Does this describe your attitude and demeanor today?
- What older men in the church do you know who inspire your respect?
God’s grace enables older men to practice self-control.
This quality (“temperate”) portrays a man who exercises control over inappropriate thoughts as well as inappropriate appetites and physical passions. He does not behave impulsively or make “knee-jerk” decisions. He does not allow his body to tell him what to do but tells his body what to do instead.
Such a man lives a disciplined life and knows how to say “no” to internal desires and external pressures that pull in an ungodly direction. He resists the pressures of advertisements, peer pressure, and worldly pleasures. To him old age (or retirement) is not a time to binge and indulge on temporal pursuits but to demonstrate his mastery over them and to enjoy freedom from such passions and pressures.
- Does this describe your behavior today?
- What older men in the church do you know who demonstrate balance and self-control?
God’s grace enables older men to be spiritually healthy.
As I mentioned previously, physical health tends to wane the later into life we travel. Yet the longer we follow Christ, the healthier our spiritual lives should become. The more we follow Christ, the more his grace improves our spiritual health. Paul described this counterintuitive dynamic in a letter to the church at Corinth when he said, “Though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day” (2 Cor 4:16).
Here Paul highlights three crucial measurements of spiritual health. He does not mention heartrate readings, blood sugar levels, or audio and visual acuity. He mentions faith, hope, and love, instead. These are three qualities which we should all allow the grace of God to cultivate in our lives (see 1 Cor 13:13).
When Paul listed these three spiritual health markers, he placed a little word called a “definite article” before each word, emphasizing the personal nature of each one. He is not focusing here on “the Christian faith” for instance but on an older man’s personal experience and expression of faith in his daily walk with God.
If you’re a man whose older, then how are your personal faith, hope, and love readings doing today? Is your faith in God functioning at a healthy level? How about your love for people? How about your approach to difficult experiences?
Faith measures a man’s dependence on God.
To what degree are his actions, decisions, and thoughts guided by and grounded in who God is and what he says in Scripture. Is he relying on God more than ever or more on himself? When was the last time you consciously relied on a personal attribute of God or a principle or promise from the Word of God to change your mind or make a key decision? If you’ve been more conscious and passionate about relying on God in the past than in the present, then perhaps you need a fresh reminder of God’s grace. Sadly, the faith of older men is often more pessimistic than passionate, skeptical than strong.
May your faith be like the faith of the believers in Thessalonica, of whom Paul said, “We are bound to thank God always for you, brethren, as it is fitting, because your faith grows exceedingly, and the love of every one of you all abounds toward each other” (2 Thess 1:3).
Love measures a man’s compassion and commitment to people.
To what degree does he serve and value other people more other people more than himself? His spouse, children, relatives, neighbors, coworkers, and fellow church members? How are you investing in the lives of people today? In whom are you investing? Who in your family, church, and community are being loved by God through you? If your life is becoming increasingly isolated and self-centered, then perhaps you need a fresh reminder of God’s grace.
May your love be as Paul describes, “Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” (1 Cor 13:4-7).
According to Dorothy Canfield Fisher, "Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young." On this point I think Scripture agrees.
Hope (“endurance”) measures a man’s resolve through difficult times.
To what degree does he remain calm, confident, and committed when confusing situations, discouraging outcomes, and painful trials come his way? Does he persevere or quit? If you find yourself withdrawing rather than advancing, then you may need a fresh reminder of God’s grace which enables you to run your race of life best in the final laps rather than petering out from exhaustion.
May your confidence in Christ increase and not wane. “Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God” (Heb 12:1-2).
Are your faith, love, and endurance at peak health today?
Are your faith, love, and endurance levels off the charts? Are they trending in the right direction or dipping to unhealthy levels? If we could offer charts and printed reports that measure these virtues, what would your readouts look like?
- Are you spiritually healthy or unhealthy today?
- What older men in the church do you know who exhibit confident faith in God?
- What older men in the church come to mind for demonstrating genuine care and compassion towards other people, including towards you?
- What older me in the church remain calm and committed through difficult circumstances, relationships, and trials and do not withdraw or run away?
One commentary makes this sad but insightful observation about older men: “The latter years of life, especially for men, can be filled with regrets, a sense of uselessness or worthlessness, feelings of despair, self-absorption, or even a tendency to relax moral standards because of old age.[1]”
Though we may understand and even empathize with this struggle, we should not accept this outcome as the norm in our lives and in the church because God’s grace not only saves us from sin and guarantees an eternity with God in the new creation, it enables us to overcome these natural, normal patterns of spiritual decline.
If we’re honest, we’ll admit that sometimes older men are simply uninspiring. They may be agitated, pessimistic, stubborn, unfriendly, and uninvolved. They’re more interested in the past than on the present, in themselves than on others, and in this temporal world than on the world that is to come.
This should not be the case in the church. “For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men, teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly in the present age” (Tit 2:11-12).
In the church, where God’s grace should be the glowing and governing reality in all of our lives – especially those who are older – we need (and should expect) older Christian men to avoid speculative stories and theories and let go of manmade rules and traditions as marks or means of pleasing God. We need older Christian men to think clearly, take life seriously, say no to sinful desires, and exhibit healthy levels of faith in God, love for people, and endurance through trials.
Just as Christ, in his first miracle as a man, served the best wine at the end of the wedding feast in Cana, so he saves his best grace for the end of our race in the Christian life (John 2:10). May those men who are older repent of falling short of God’s grace and then renew their resolve to depend on God’s grace to be what they should be and do what they should do. May we truly believe that God’s grace saves the best for last. For those who are older men in the church today, I pray that you will embrace the idea and pursue the reality that your best and brightest days are still ahead.
[1] Thomas D. Lea and Hayne P. Griffin, 1, 2 Timothy, Titus, vol. 34, The New American Commentary (Nashville: Broadman & Holman Publishers, 1992), 298.
