Dealing with Despair

Thinking God’s Way, Lesson 16

Thinking God’s Way is a series of Bible studies that help believers meditate on theWord of God for the purpose of Christian growth. Each lesson features a verseof Scripture in English and the original language (whether Hebrew or Greek). Italso provides basic background information, followed by basic word definitionsand other key insights. Each lesson concludes with some questions formeditation and for applying the truth to life.

Initial Thoughts

We all know what it’s like to look forward to something – and counton it – but that thing takes a long, long time to happen. Know the feeling?This proverb encourages us to persevere in waiting, knowing that the value andblessing of the end result will far outweigh the difficulty of waiting.

Key Verse: Proverbs 13:12

In English (NKJV)

Hope deferred makes the heart sick,

  But when the desire comes, it is a tree of life.

In Hebrew

תּוֹחֶ֣לֶת מְ֭מֻשָּׁכָה מַחֲלָה־לֵ֑ב

וְעֵ֥ץ חַ֝יִּ֗ים תַּאֲוָ֥ה בָאָֽה׃

English and Hebrew Together

Hope deferred (תּוֹחֶ֣לֶת מְ֭מֻשָּׁכָה)makes the heart sick (מַחֲלָה־לֵ֑ב),

   But when the desire comes(תַּאֲוָ֥הבָאָֽה), it is a tree of life (עֵ֥ץ חַ֝יִּ֗ים).

Background Information

This statement appears in the Old Testament book of Proverbs, whichprovides an extensive collection of insights for a wide variety of situations.They teach you how to live in a skillful, successful, and satisfying way.

Most importantly, they teach you how to make choices in light ofwhat you know about God, for “the fear of the Lord is the beginning ofknowledge” (Prov 1:7). Since God is who he says he is, does what he says hedoes, and rules over every aspect of our lives, we should give him the respecthe deserves by making choices that reflect this awareness.

Keywords and their Meanings

Mounce’sComplete Expository Dictionary of Old & New Testament Words (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2006)together with an interlinear Bible, like The NKJV Greek English InterlinearNew Testament (Thomas Nelson, 1994) is an excellent way to get accuratedefinitions for your Bible study based upon Greek and Hebrew meanings.

• (תּוֹחֶ֫לֶת): “hope, expectation.”This word speaks of some kind of positive future outcome that you look forwardto and anticipate with eagerness and optimism.

• (מָשַׁךְ): “to draw up, drag; to extend, spreadout; to be deferred.” The idea is to stretch something out over a long, drawnout period of time.

• (חָלָה): “to make ill [weak, faint, diseased,wounded], to cause to suffer.”

• (לֵב): “heart; by extension: the inner person,self, the seat of thought and emotion: conscience, courage, mind, understanding.”

• (עֵץ): “tree”

• (חַי): “life, state of living (in contrast todeath).”

• (תַּאֲוָה): “longing, desire, craving.”

• (בּוֹא): “to come, to arrive, to happen, tooccur.”

Other Key Insights

This statement is written in a format called Hebrew parallelism. Inthis case, it features two lines (a “couplet”) written as contrastingparallelism, which means that the second line (or “B line”) presents an ideathat’s opposite from the first (the “A Line”).

The parallelism format helps you memorize Scripture and think aboutit in a thought-provoking way. When you think about a proverb, don’t just askquestions about the individual words and lines, but also ask questions abouthow the lines relate to each other.

In Hebrew poetry, there is a general word order that takes place.When this word order varies or changes, it sometimes indicates a point ofemphasis. In this proverb, for instance, the words “tree of life” occur at thefront of the line, giving some emphasis to this word.

Questions for Meditation and Reflection

What are some things that we hope for and look forward to in life?

Some of these long-range aspirations include getting a driver’slicense, getting a car, becoming an adult, graduating from college, beginning aprofessional career, getting married, having children, improved or restoredrelationships, spiritual change and transformation in another person’s life, andmore.

Which of these things often take a long time to happen and why?

Most if not all these aspirations take a long time to happenbecause God teaches important lessons and brings about meaningful change in ourlives through the experience of waiting, patience, and endurance (Jam 1:2-4).He is also working in similar ways in the lives of other people who are alsoaffected by these circumstances.

How does the waiting process make us feel – mentally, emotionally,physically, and spiritually? Why?

Waiting for a desired outcome over a long period of time causes “heartsickness.”This refers to nonphysical and even physical feelings of illness, weakness,disease, anxiety, pain, and suffering. No matter how strong your personalcharacter and relationship with God may be, you cannot avoid this humanexperience. Not only do the best of Christians experience this reality, butthey may experience it even more.

This happens for a variety of reasons. Some of these reasons mayinclude doubt about the future, unfulfilled personal needs, strong desires orappetites for immediate satisfaction, and more.

What does “a tree of life” mean? What does that look like in ourlives today?

The book of Proverbs uses this figure of speech (a metaphor) todescribe the outcome or effect of a fulfilled desire (here), a peaceful tongue(Prov 15:4), and the choices and lifestyle of a righteous person (Prov 11:30).It uses the “fountain of life” metaphor in a similar way (Prov 13:14; 14:27;16:22).

Though Moses in Genesis uses this metaphor to refer to eternal life(Gen 2:9; 3:22), Solomon in Proverbs focuses on our current temporal lifeinstead and depicts something like physical or spiritual renewal. The idea isthat though waiting for a desired outcome over a long period of time bringsabout painful feelings and more, the end brings about abundant life, healing,and restoration, resulting in a better condition than before.

A Personal Translation

Before you consider how to apply this truth to your life byallowing it to change your mindset and approach to life, write out a personaltranslation. Use what you have learned to write this verse in your own words.

Questions for Personal Application

1. What are some examples of things you have waited for in your life?
2. Describe how you felt and what you “went through” as you waited?
3. How did the end result turn out when it arrived? How did it turn out to be a “tree of life?”
4. What are some things that you are waiting for today?
5. How are you handling this waiting period – mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually?
6. What does this verse teach you about God – his character and his ways?